bitter sweet thanksgiving

In my extended family, interpersonal relationships are strained, and where it started and how it is now is just one stupid thing after another and some real issues, with a few outside and inside forces that decided the final coarse which has been set into stone. Just mentioning this as background, I am not complaining, I accepted this many many years ago. The bitter sweet comes in, because I will be in the city with my daughter, and my men will be at home in Ohio. Odd to be away from those I love, but on the other hand, exciting to be in the city with my girl this time of year.

It's only a day. I don't eat turkey anymore. We may lay low, we may hit the town with a vengeance. In any case, I will enjoy it fully, moment by moment, even if inside my heart breaks a bit, it will never show.

can't remember when I last ate

(art by my daughter)

I guess this is the beginning of yet another life struggle. Mind you the cast of characters have changed somewhat, little does that make anything better, in many ways it makes it all worse.
I will try my best to do and be my best, but it's damn fucking hard. I have to look deeper and harder for the strength on so many levels it's mind boggling at the moment.

a good thing to know

On Thursday, I attempted what no sane woman should ever attempt. I made the effort to teach my sixteen year old son, who only has his temps, how to drive a stick shift. Not any stick shift but a brand new car, still has temporary tags, no less.

When I was at the dealership, I wanted a deal, I always want a deal that my nature. So in order to get the deal I wanted , the special rate, and the special price, I had to take delivery that day. All they had on the lot was a stick. So I bought it. Not thinking too much about the stick because well, I learned on a stick, and I remembered that some guys think they are fun. No big deal.

Well Thursday, my patience was tested, I was scared out of my skin, and frustrations were running high. In the middle of a deserted Target parking lot, we tried over and over again.....he could shift into second once we got going, but the starts were anything but smooth. "That was really good," I would say, trying not to discourage. Several more jerky starts and stalls and he hit the wall, he said, "That's it, that's enough for the day."

Fast forward to today, and he and his father went out and had a perfectly wonderful time. No stall outs at all, and a young man who returned beaming with confidence, almost ready to take to the open road. At first I thought, well, he took what I "taught" him and improved.....that was not the case. He made that pretty clear to me. Ha ha. I am not a teacher, I may be many things but not a teacher.

random thoughts about Obama's win

I feel joy. I feel an abundance of joy for the entire world, and a special joy for those whose lives have been shackled and held down due to the color. I cry tears of joy, and feel unbelievable relief that the Bush presidency actually will indeed end.

Barack, Michelle and their two beautiful young girls, will be a welcomed change to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

Heavy sigh..... peace and safety to the Obama family. The world loves you, because you love the world. Be blessed.

driving election day

"To change the world start with one step."

memorial for Gracie

low down on JayZ

To the booing audience JayZ said “let’s change this picture” and it changed to Obama.

We found our way to really great seats, right in front of the boxes, big screens everywhere. Every single seat in the place was taken; nearly 20,000 fans filled Quicken Loans Arena for the "Last Chance for Change" rally. Wearing a black leather jacket, baseball cap and huge diamond chain in the shape of Ohio, Lebron James encouraged the crowd to participate in next week's election.

"I want everybody in here, moms, dads, aunts, uncles to get out and vote," James said. "November fourth is the most important day of our lives."

….and then it happened…..the reason this concert was free: they played the whole Obama 30 minute piece. The crowd reaction to several points made by Obama was weak. Not even a cheer for ending the war, which really surprised me. This indeed was not a politically active crowd. The majority of this crowd was anxiously waiting to see JayZ, period the end.

Plenty of fashion statements filled the packed arena. Some that turned even my head in disbelief. Many, but not all, women were wearing tall stiletto boots; tights and some piece of clothe resembling a skirt but the size of a small dinner napkin and a skin tight sweater. Oh and I don’t want to forget the 2008 fashion staple “the scarf.” Everyone, yes everyone, had on a scarf.

On the political front, I was surprised that there wasn’t more effort by the Obama campaign to promote voting on the concourses. There was nothing, no free stickers, no posters or postcard maps to the Board of Election, with direction on how to vote early or how to vote on November 4^th.

All that being said, the most lasting impression I took away from the show was how low- key it was from beginning to end. Even after the last song, people just started leaving. No screaming for an encore, no cell phones in the air (replacement for lighters) asking JayZ to come back, to play more. He came back anyway.

Best song of the night -”99 problems.”

Best quote of the night - ''Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk,'' JayZ said to the relatively quiet arena. ''Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run. Obama is running so we all can fly.''